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The Person Behind This Person

Dear Friend,
I'm trying to be myself. I'm not yet there.
Over the years I have looked at this body, these words, these possibilities, through other's eyes. Mirrors cannot penetrate deep into my soul and show me the real me, and neither can you. You have yourself to take care of first. I am a mere creature, whose body is relaxed peacefully on this chair, but whose soul has been aimlessly wandering through the streets of this city for years, hoping, that maybe today it would find its true identity.
I wonder how I am. I have not met with myself, someday, though, I will. I will meet myself lost in time, sometimes looking for scissors to chop off my rough edges, other times sharpening my soul. I will meet myself, grab shoulders, shake myself up and look straight into my own eyes. I want to see me.
How am I? Why do I never get tired of this question? Why do I always want to hear from people about how I am even if I know their answers? Why do I feel that someday, somewhere, someone will explain me so well and that will be the end of this tiring journey?
Can I ask you something more?
Why did you choose to be a part of me? Do you think I really am the person you have thought of me? Or have you shaped my personality with your own imagination and made me a different person in your eyes? Or have you really seen the real me? Have you pierced your own emotions into my soul, inch by inch and seen the person behind this person?
If you have, I beg of you, don't tell me how I am. Or how I am doing.
 P.S. One day, I will find myself though. Lost at the sea or in the air. I will find myself.



- ( अनुश्रुति  अधिकारी ) Anushruti Adhikari


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