Ageing Heart

My ageing heart is a tree, on the far end of this park

I wait and watch its twigs and trunks, even when it's quite dark

Your memory has latched onto the branches, like a leaf

And I a fool, always thought they'd wilt like autumn leaves

But autumn came and went, and the leaves stayed strong

Surpassing time, grief and acceptance, for far too long

The memory bothers the soul, who is busy writing the encore

It knocks too hard, and often too loud at its porous door

This memory is messy and it smells

It has no love for me, just no respect

It captures attention and laughs, it spills the spoils

Memory is not strong, it's not smart, but oh god the chatter, the moil

It dries up my throat in the middle of the night

Overflows my heart at inappropriate times

And the leaves just don't leave!

They defile my beautiful ageing heart of a tree

I ask for it to stay strong, so it weeps silently

How I wait for a gardener to come and tell me some lie

"I've checked all over, and everything is fine"

For that lie shall hold me for eighteen years, or twenty

With enough denial, maybe even an eternity

The memory has now blackened the branches, twigs and bark

It's quite hunched now, it has an arc

How can I abandon an ageing heart?

It beats, then aches, so I pounce and it breaks

It blooms, dries, then believes my lies

But now it also wreaks of shame

Of all the emotions I could not tame

The soul has begged and the mind is at mercy

I am a woman with the ugliest tree in the park

I wish to escape this mental purgatory

I have abandoned my ageing heart.    -Anushruti